


Ready Yet

by AlexiaRexia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clarke's POV, F/F, G!p Lexa, High School Reunion, Hurt and comfort, Mild Smut, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, Prompt Fill, Unrequited Love, but not really, first kiss and waiting, for real, intersex lexa, lostia in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 01:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17071013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexiaRexia/pseuds/AlexiaRexia
Summary: Senior year of high school, Lexa Woods broke Clarke's heart without explanation. Now, five years later, she's face to face with Lexa once more. Will she be able to forgive her?(Of course she will.)





	Ready Yet

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt fill for the ficlet prompt meme (lol this is so not a ficlet oops?). #14 (first kiss) and #28 (waiting). 
> 
> Shout out to [syngularity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syngularity/) for the constant support and encouragement!! 
> 
> Title inspiration: [[x](https://open.spotify.com/track/06HF5MffJ05298m4NPrVEU?si=2zMNTtThRMuvBNhsoPbc3w)]
> 
> NOTE: This is g!p Lexa. If that's not your thing, please click the back button. Thanks.

**14 (first kiss) and 28 (waiting)**

 

_ December 2018 _

 

Clarke sipped at her drink, looking for a familiar face. She was going to throttle Raven when she saw her. Raven had promised her she’d stick by her side during the entirety of this little shindig, but one look from Anya Forrester, her high school fuck buddy, and she was skipping out to get a room with her upstairs. Clarke knew she wouldn’t see her again until morning when she’d come stumbling into their shared apartment.

 

Asshole.

 

Which meant there she was, alone and feeling all kinds of awkward as her former classmates greeted one another in a mixture of joy, surprise, and thinly-veiled disdain. Who thought a five-year reunion would be a good idea, anyway? Who even did five-year reunions for high school? And why was it at Christmas time?

 

“Clarke!”

 

Clarke looked to her right at her name, squealing when she saw Octavia Blake rushing towards her, arms already open. They had been close friends in high school, the three of them—her, Octavia, and Raven—all best friends. But after their high school graduation, Clarke and Raven had ended up at the same school—Arkadia University—while Octavia had joined the military. They’d lost touch over the years, only interacting periodically via social media like Facebook and Instagram when Octavia wasn’t deployed. And even that had been sporadic.

 

They embraced tightly, Clarke both glad to see her old friend and to have someone to talk to rather than pretending to be interested in mingling with the other people present.

 

“Oh my god, how are you?” Clarke asked as they pulled back, giving Octavia a once over. She looked fit, all toned muscles and tanned skin. “Last I heard, you were in Afghanistan.”

 

Octavia nodded. “I got home two days ago. Just heard about this thing this morning. Figured I’d drop in and see who had gotten ugly.” She grinned at Clarke. “You sure haven’t. If anything, you’ve gotten more gorgeous. I’m jealous.”

 

Clarke let out a barking laugh. “Oh, whatever,” she said. “Says you with your rock hard biceps and I’m sure a six pack of abs.”

 

Octavia laughed. “Where’s Raven? She wouldn’t miss this.”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “She already found Anya, and they’re upstairs doing god knows what.”

 

Octavia didn’t look at all surprised. “Of course she is,” she said. “And where’s Lexa?”

 

Clarke’s stomach clenched at the mention of Lexa Woods, Anya’s best friend, and the girl who had broken her heart senior year.

 

But she’d never told Octavia about that. Raven knew, finding out at some point during their freshman year of college, but Octavia was still in the dark. About the heartbreak thing, anyway. She’d known of Clarke’s intense crush on Lexa, however, so of course she’d ask about her.

 

Clarke cleared her throat, shrugging. “Don’t know,” she said casually, pretending not to feel a pang of hurt. “How’s the weather in Afghanistan, anyway? Is it as miserable as they make it out to be?”

 

If Octavia was thrown by the sudden change in topic or Clarke’s avoidance of the subject of Lexa Woods, she didn’t let on as she launched into stories of her time overseas. Clarke was thankful for the distraction and genuinely curious about Octavia’s experience, so she listened with rapt attention. That is until Octavia cast a glance to their left and broke out into a wide smile as she waved at someone over Clarke’s shoulder. “Hey!”

 

Clarke looked behind her, expecting Jasper or Monty, or perhaps Harper. But it wasn’t any of them.

 

It was Lexa Woods.

 

And she was walking right towards them.

  
  
  
  


_ April 2013 _

 

“We broke up.”

 

The words reverberated through Clarke’s ears, sending all sorts of hopeful feelings coursing through her body. She sat on the bleachers of the football field next to her friend and longtime crush, Lexa. Well, ‘friend’ was pushing it. They only knew one another through their respective best friends hooking up. But Clarke had formed a crush on her the first time they met, and over the last few weeks they’d been hanging out more and more. Ever since Lexa had a huge fight with her girlfriend, Costia.

 

Clarke didn’t hate Costia—she was kind enough and had never said or done anything rude to Clarke or her friends—but she was her crush’s girlfriend, so she was inherently jealous of the girl. But she wasn’t one to intervene in a relationship, so she’d kept her crush to herself. Or, she tried to anyway. Raven and Octavia had caught on quickly and teased her mercilessly about it. That had been fine. She could handle her friends knowing. It was whatever. She’d get over it, right?

 

But now Lexa was telling her that she’d broken up with Costia.

 

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said, trying not to allow her giddiness to show. Lexa was obviously sad, and rightfully so, and she needed her support. Her silly crush could wait. “What happened?”

 

Lexa shrugged. “She got really possessive all of a sudden. Like, if I was hanging out with you, she got mad that I wasn’t with her. Even if she wasn’t available. When I confronted her about it, she got really defensive and… I don’t know. It’s been a long time coming, I guess. We haven’t really been happy in a while.”

 

The last statement was news to Clarke, and her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You haven’t? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

 

Lexa sighed. “It’s not that we were unhappy, necessarily… I don’t know. It just wasn’t working anymore.”

 

Clarke placed a comforting arm around Lexa’s shoulders, giving her a side hug. “Well, I’m here if you need to talk about it,” she said, genuine.

 

Lexa smiled at her. “I know.”

  
  
  


_ May 2013 [two weeks before graduation] _

 

The party was loud, so Clarke had found an excuse to head off upstairs, glad she was best friends with the party-thrower. Octavia’s parents were out of town, so of course she’d decided to throw a kegger and invited the entire senior class. Clarke was generally a social person, but large crowds weren’t her favorite. She preferred socializing on a smaller scale, but she’d come to support her friend. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t sneak off after an hour and a half of mingling, though.

 

So she crept up the stairs after smiling and waving at Lincoln, Octavia’s boyfriend. He was acting as a bouncer of sorts to make sure no one went upstairs. Of course, being Octavia’s best friend, that rule didn’t apply to her. Once upstairs, she ventured into the room that served as an office and had a small balcony that overlooked the backyard. She was surprised to find it already occupied.

 

“Hey,” she said as she approached so as not to scare the occupant.

 

Lexa jumped a bit, but relaxed when she saw that it was Clarke. “Oh, hey,” she said. “Also needed a break from the noise?”

 

Clarke nodded, leaning against the railing. The space was small, so two people had to stand pretty close to one another. Her shoulder brushed Lexa’s with each movement. “Yeah,” she said. “I prefer smaller parties.”

 

Lexa nodded in agreement. She sipped her drink, looking out into the inky darkness of the trees that lined the area behind the Blakes’ property line. “And there are people I want to avoid.”

 

Clarke eyed her carefully. “Costia?” she guessed. She knew Lexa’s ex was there, looking all kinds of sad.

 

Lexa nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “She keeps asking me to get back together.”

 

Clarke’s stomach clenched. “Do you want to?” she asked. “Get back together with her?”

 

Lexa finally turned to look at her. She shook her head. “No,” she said. “She isn’t who I want.”

 

The way Lexa was looking at her made Clarke tremble. “Who do you want?”

 

Lexa stared at her, and Clarke could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she considered her next words. “I think we both know the answer to that, Clarke.”

 

Clarke licked her lips. “Do we?” she asked, voice low.

 

Lexa didn’t answer. Not verbally, at least. Instead, she stepped closer, until they were almost touching, a mere half inch separating their torsos, their faces so close that Clarke could see the little hazel specks in Lexa’s green irises. She inhaled sharply and waited, not daring to even breathe for fear of sending Lexa running. 

 

Then Lexa was reaching up to cup Clarke’s face in both hands and pressing their lips together.

 

Clarke was stunned. She’d resigned herself to never being anything more than Lexa’s friend. But friends definitely didn’t kiss like this. Lexa’s mouth parted and their tongues met. Oh, no. Definitely not like this.

 

Clarke gave as good as she got, throwing herself into the kiss. Nearly a year of what she thought were unrequited feelings bubbling to the surface and demanding to be let out.

 

They kissed for a long time. Hours, even. First on the balcony, pressed together, until their knees threatened to give out. And then on the small couch in the office, limbs tangled and hands desperately roving until they were forced to pull apart at the sound of a very loud (and very drunk) Raven clamoring down the hallway.

 

They didn’t get to talk about ‘them’ that night. And Lexa left shortly after, needing to get home before her curfew.

 

The following day, Clarke gave in and texted her in the morning, asking if she wanted to come over and ‘talk.’ She casually mentioned that her mother was working and she had the house to herself. But Lexa was known for not having her phone charged or leaving it in her room, and Clarke knew that Sundays were often dubbed ‘family day’ for the Woods clan, so she wasn’t surprised or even worried when she didn’t hear back from her. Though, she had been hoping Lexa would have at least responded with  _ something _ , even if it was a ‘Sorry I didn’t have my phone’ when she saw Clarke’s messages that night.

 

Even so, she figured she’d just see her the following day in school and officially ask her if she wanted to go on a date with her, the intensity of Lexa’s kisses on Saturday night fueling her bravado.

 

As soon as she entered the building of Polis High School, she rushed towards the hallway where Lexa’s locker was located. She arrived just as Lexa was entering the combination into the lock and pulling the metal door open. Clarke took a deep breath and forced herself to be calm. Cool. Totally collected. She could do this.

 

“Hey, Lexa,” she said, voice as casual as she could muster. She pressed her back to the locker beside Lexa’s and smiled coyly. “How was the rest of your weekend?”

 

Lexa looked torn. And upset? Definitely conflicted. “Uh, h-hey Clarke.” She refused to look at Clarke.

 

Clarke gave her a weird look. “What’s wrong?” she asked, feeling an uneasiness settle low in her stomach.

 

Lexa just shook her head, quickly shoving her textbooks into her bag and slamming her locker door shut. She looked tired, dark circles under her eyes like she hadn’t slept at all the night before.

 

Clarke became worried, knowing Lexa’s little brother, Aden, hadn’t been doing well recently after being diagnosed with Leukemia six months prior. “Did something happen to Aden?” Lexa shook her head, still fiddling with her backpack rather than looking at Clarke. That had warning bells ringing loudly in Clarke’s head. “Why won’t you look at me?” she asked.

 

Lexa finally did, and Clarke didn’t like the expression on her face. “I need to tell you something,” she said, serious and somber.

 

Clarke already wanted to throw up. “What?”

 

“Did you tell her the good news yet?” a voice interrupted them.

 

Clarke glanced over and saw Costia sidling up to them, looking all kinds of pleased.

 

“What good news?” Clarke asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

 

Costia smiled widely and wrapped her arm around Lexa’s waist. “We’re back together!”

 

Oh.  _ Oh _ . That hurt. That was like a sucker punch to the gut and face at the same time. With an anvil. “What?” Clarke’s voice cracked with the question, her eyes immediately flying to Lexa’s to get confirmation. But Lexa wouldn’t look at her. Again. “Since when?”

 

“Yesterday,” Costia said, moving closer to Lexa. It was like she was marking her territory. She probably was. “We just realized we were meant to be together. Isn’t that wonderful?!”

 

Clarke felt her stomach churn. She was certain she was going to throw up. “Uh, yeah, great. I have to, uh, get to class.” She rushed towards the girl’s bathroom down the hall, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste.

 

“Clarke!” she heard Lexa call out after her, but she ignored her.

 

She ignored her in their one shared class--sixth period AP Chemistry.

 

She ignored her after school when Lexa approached her as she was shoving her bag into her car.

 

She ignored the multiple texts that Lexa sent her throughout the day. 

 

And she ignored her for the rest of the school year, grateful it was the last week of classes.

 

She lied and told Raven and Octavia that she couldn’t attend Jasper and Monty’s ‘We Survived’ Graduation party because her mother was taking her out to a fancy dinner instead. She spent the night alone crying in her room while her mother was at work.

 

She was mad. She was sad and confused. But most of all, she was heartbroken.

  
  
  
  


_ December 2018 _

 

“Lexa!” Octavia called out, and before Clarke could stop her, she waved Lexa over “Oh my god! Look at you!”

 

Clarke groaned inwardly, but plastered on a fake, if not tense, smile. She could do this. She’d been expecting this. She’d prepared for this. It had been a silly crush and some kissing. No big deal, right? It’s not like they’d actually been dating. Or in love.

 

Lexa approached them with a tentative smile, and Octavia hugged her. Lexa looked surprised, but returned the hug all the same. She then stepped back and looked at Clarke expectantly.

 

No way. She’d be courteous and civil, but she drew the line at  _ hugging _ her. She nodded instead. “Lexa,” she said, proud of how steady her voice was.

 

“Hi, Clarke,” Lexa answered, appearing nervous.

 

“How’s Costia?” Clarke asked, unable to fight against the jab.

 

Lexa winced. “Um, I don’t know,” she said with a small shrug. “I haven’t seen her in years.”

 

Octavia looked suspicious at the coolness of their conversation but didn’t say anything about it. Instead, she gave Lexa a comforting look and sympathetic nod. “Yeah, it’s hard to keep high school love going strong,” she said. “Lincoln and I split for a few years.”

 

Clarke blinked in surprise at that. “You did? But you guys were so perfect together!”

 

Octavia nodded. “Yeah, but the military is hard on couples. We never got to see one another. We’re back together now, though, and planning a wedding.”

 

“You’re engaged?!” Clarke squealed, grabbing Octavia’s left hand and inspecting the ring. “Oh my god. When?! Where? I know we lost touch, but you have to invite me.”

 

Octavia laughed. “Of course you’re invited,” she said. “We haven’t set a date yet. He just asked me two days ago, the night I got back.” She beamed, looking happier than Clarke had ever seen her.

 

“Well, congratulations,” Lexa said, looking on with a smile. “You two were always great together.”

 

Octavia continued smiling widely. “Yeah, I know. Speaking of which, I need to go find him. He was dragged away by Nyko and Roan as soon as we walked in the door.”

 

Clarke panicked. “I’ll go with you,” she said, not wanting to be left alone with Lexa. Maybe her pride was still a little hurt.

 

Octavia waved her off. “No, no, you stay and catch up with Lex, here,” she said, already walking off. “I’ll find you later!”

 

Clarke sighed, recalling how Octavia had always done this—found ways for Clarke and Lexa to be alone together. Great. “I’m gonna go… over there,” she said, pointing at a random corner of the room. “It was nice seeing you.”

 

“Clarke, wait,” Lexa said before Clarke could turn to leave. “Can we talk? I was hoping you’d be here. I really want to explain what happened senior year. It’s the only reason I came here tonight.”

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow. “The only reason you came was to explain why you told me you wanted me, kissed me and felt me up, then dumped me to run back to your ex before we were even a thing to begin with? Don’t bother. I get it. I wasn’t worth your time. But you could have just said so without the kissing. That was a low blow.” Okay, so maybe she wasn’t as over it as she’d thought. But all the emotions had come rushing back as soon as she’d seen Lexa approach.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Clarke sighed. “It’s whatever. I’m not that dumb, naive eighteen year old anymore. I’ve moved on. I’m over it.”

 

“Are you?” Lexa asked, raising both eyebrows.

 

Clarke bristled. “You aren’t god’s gift to women, Lexa,” she said. “You were barely a blip on my dating profile, by your own choice, might I add. I was upset, sure, but I managed to get over it.” Mostly. Until now, apparently. But she dared not admit that to Lexa.

 

Lexa looked sheepish. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said. She ran a hand through her hair, musing the long silky strands. “Look, can we please just sit down and talk? There is something I want to tell you about what happened that I’m hoping will make you hate me just a little less.”

 

Clarke sighed, giving in. She figured she was at least owed an explanation. “Doubtful,” she muttered. “But fine. Talk, then.”

 

Lexa looked around, then nodded towards the cluster of tables to one side of the room. “Let’s sit,” she said.

 

Clarke shrugged and followed her. Once settled, she looked at Lexa expectantly, waiting.

 

“I really didn’t mean to hurt you, Clarke,” Lexa started. “That was a very unfortunate byproduct of the situation. It killed me to have to hurt you.”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Killed  _ you _ ?” she repeated and stood. “I’m not interested in hearing your woe is me story, Lexa.” She started to move away.

 

Lexa reached out and touched her forearm. She didn’t grab, for which Clarke was grateful, but her touch was meant to encourage Clarke to stay.

 

“She was pregnant.”

 

The words hung in the air, making Clarke pause. She looked down at Lexa with a confused look. “Who?”

 

“Costia.”

 

Clarke blinked, uncertain. “When?”

 

“End of senior year,” Lexa answered. “She told me the day after… the day after you and I kissed.”

 

Clarke didn’t know how to react. She sat back down in stunned silence as the people around them continued to dance and mingle. “You have a kid?”

 

Lexa shook her head. “No,” she said. “She miscarried a few weeks after graduation.”

 

“Are you sure she was pregnant to start with?” Clarke instantly regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Costia may not have been her biggest fan after she’d gotten back with Lexa, but she wasn’t a manipulator as far as Clarke was aware. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I know she wouldn’t have lied. I mean, I don’t think so, at least.” To be fair, Clarke had never  _ really _ known the girl.

 

Lexa shrugged. “It had crossed my mind at first, too,” she admitted. “Because I knew she was so desperate to get back together. But now I understand why she was so desperate. She was scared of being alone and pregnant. But she was definitely pregnant. I went to doctor appointments and was the one to take her to the hospital when she miscarried. I only bring it up because I wanted you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I was just trying to do the right thing.”

 

Clarke knit her brow, taking it all in. “Okay,” she said slowly. “And I respect that. But why didn’t you just tell me back then? It would have still sucked, but I wouldn’t have spent months—years, even—wondering what I’d done to make you run back to your ex so soon after kissing me.”

 

Lexa started to say something, then stopped and shrugged. “I don’t have a good answer for you other than that I was terrified. I’d just learned that I was going to be a parent. I had no idea how to raise a kid, let alone provide for one. My scholarship was going down the drain right before my eyes.” She shook her head. “It’s a shitty excuse, but it’s the only one I have. I am sorry, you know. I wish I had handled it a lot better. I was young and stupid and afraid.”

 

Clarke licked her lips, unsure of how to respond. “I get that,” she said. “I don’t like it, but I can understand to a point. I guess I can’t be mad at you for wanting to step up and be a good parent. But like you said, I really wish you’d told me in private. Hearing that you were back together from Costia really shook me, you know.”

 

Lexa winced and nodded. “I know. I had planned to tell you myself, but…” she trailed off, looking sheepish. “She knew I liked you. I did before we even broke up in the first place, and she knew that. I’m not saying you’re the reason because we would have broken up anyway, but she used it as a way to control me, so to speak. She brought it up every time I mentioned you, so I avoided it. I avoided you. I didn’t want to rock the boat because all I could think about was how I didn’t want to be like my Dad.”

 

Clarke hummed at that. Lexa’s biological father had split when her mother was still pregnant with Lexa and while she had a good relationship with her stepdad, Gustus, it had still bothered Lexa growing up. “You’ll never be like your Dad,” Clarke said, voice now soft. “You’d have made a wonderful parent, Lex. You still will one day, if you decide to have kids in the future.”

 

Lexa gave her a small half smile. “I hope you’re right,” she said. Then she shook her head. “Anyway, so that’s what I wanted to say. I wish I hadn’t waited so long, but I was ashamed of my behavior. You deserve so much more than how I treated you, Clarke. I hope you know that.”

 

Clarke felt her walls crumbling. “I guess,” she said. “I won’t lie, it really did a number on me. But I appreciate you telling me all of this now.”

 

Lexa nodded. “I know I have no right to ask, but I was hoping maybe we could try and be friends again?”

 

She looked so hopeful that Clarke almost laughed, but she didn’t. “Sure, I can do that. Friends.” 

 

Friends. She could be friends with Lexa Woods. 

 

Right?

  
  
  
  


_ February 2019 _

 

“What happened to being ‘just friends’?”

 

Clarke chuckled at the question, still trying to catch her breath. “Screw being friends,” she said. “I’ve waited too long to be ‘just friends.’”

 

Lexa smiled as she lay next to her, equally naked and still hard even though she’d just experienced one of the strongest orgasms of her life as Clarke had ridden her to her own screaming orgasm.

 

“I’m so glad you said that,” Lexa said, moving to cover Clarke and kissing her thoroughly. “Because I’m not done with you yet.”

 

“Good. Because I was wrong. You are god’s gift to women, and you have a lot of time to make up for, Woods.” She pushed at Lexa’s shoulders, urging her downwards. “Now get to work.” 

 

Clarke couldn’t stop the groan that escaped her when Lexa eagerly gave into her demands. 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, please let me know what you think. :)


End file.
